Arva Davis Gray
A Mormon convert to Judaism, Arva Davis Gray was a leader in the Seattle Jewish community and a self-described “kitchen Jew” who served as president of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle, as a member of the Boards of many local and national Jewish organizations, and was a founder of Bellevue’s Temple B‘Nai Torah. Trained as a nurse, she married Dr. Bernard Gray, with whom she raised two children from his previous marriage and two of their own. Arva spiced her life with Sephardic and Ashkenazic cooking learned from friends and neighbors and wisdom grounded in Judaism and a broad, humane outlook. Arva served on the boards of the Council of Jewish Women, the Kline Galland Home, and the Jewish Family Service, which she also served as president. She was also Women's Division Chairman of Israel Bonds and a Democratic Party precinct chair and delegate. Arva also devoted her energies to her four children and her grandchildren. Arva Gray died on June 14, 2010.
Arva describes her childhood, growing up poor and Morman in Utah, rejecting the Mormon church as a teenager, and pursuing a nursing education. She examines Mormonism today and compares it to her practice in the home growing up. Arva grew up as a tomboy and has fond memories of visiting Salt Lake City. She talks about her first exposure to Jews in Seattle, where she and two nurse friends were first employed by three Jewish doctors. Arva looks back on her education, influential teachers, and being discouraged from becoming an engineer. She pursued a nursing degree, where she learned about hospital bedside manner, the relationship between doctors and nurses, and her Japanese nurse roommate during the Second World War, and the treatment of Japanese Americans in Salt Lake City at the time. Arva left the Mormon Church, moved to Seattle, and met her future husband, Dr. Bernard Gray, who was married with two kids. She recalls this as a difficult time; Bernard divorced his wife, his colleagues regarded her as "loose," his children initially resented Arva, and she was preparing to convert to Judaism. She reflects on her induction into the Jewish Community, learning Sephardic culture and cooking, and becoming more accepted by the community. She remembers negotiating Jewish laws, Hannukah celebrations, observing Shabbat with her Orthodox grandchildren. Arva looks back on her family life, raising two step-children and having two more children of her own. She was also actively involved in various volunteer activities through the Bonham Galland Nursery School, the Council of Jewish Women, Jewish Family Service, and the Kline Galland Home. Finally, Arva discusses Seattle's Jewish life and institutions, women's equality and sexuality, her chronic fatigue syndrome, and dealing with body image after having a mastectomy.
